enough.

So, it’s been a while, since I posted a blog. In the last few months more changes than I can even begin to detail, have taken place in my life. The last month especially has been challenging. There has been so much searching of my innerverse, journalling, connection, gain, loss, course taking, soul unearthing, purpose divining, and movement; I’ve not had the energy to blog. I’ve not had the energy to even share it all, with even my closest humans. 

A few weeks ago, I admitted to myself that I have been living in total resistance of ‘breakdown’. I had been ignoring my intuitive voice, fixating on the element in my life that I didn’t want to change. I went through the steps: holding onto it, bargaining, fearing, ultimately staying suspended in a highly anxious state. 

I knew better. Yet there I was. I had to purposefully make the choice to soften into the experience of it. The experience. It is an experience. It is not who I am, it is not happening to me, it is my choice how I react. My choice, whether I attach, or release.

So, I really chose to surrender. I “word vomited” to some very dear-to-me humans, and they held so much space for me to let it out. Sort it out. Feel it out. Sit in it, with open eyes, with an open heart. I loosened my grip, and I expelled the bundle of negativity I had been clutching, by sharing it out loud. I had been doing really fucking badly. I felt horrible. I was missing, myself, others. I was missing. After sharing it, after allowing it to energetically flow from me, I no longer felt alone in my darkness. I could hear my intuition again. I could hear her telling me that it was not necessary to have all of the answers, that my thoughts told me I needed.

I am heartbroken; but I have opened my arms to the truths of this experience; and now they hurt a little less. It was not until I accepted that I was sitting in the shit, that I could begin to climb out of it. That I could move through it, and heal my heart. I had to be ready to let go, to find out all of the reasons that it was so critical that I have this experience. I am finding my own happy again. I am better protecting it. 

It is okay, to not feel okay. I’ve caught sight of that clarity, that openness, that light, I am now in ‘breakthrough’. I am seeing the element for the good that it was, and not for the loss of it. I am cherishing having had it at all. I am grateful for the change. I have released the hesitation, of allowing it to change. I trust the experiences I have, as ones I am meant to. I trust myself, to learn and grow. I trust that I have, within me, what I need to navigate experience and growth. 

I will be okay. I am already okay. 

I was always okay – more than okay.

I had all the answers already. 

I was, am, will always be – enough.

xxo, W.

teacher + tattooer.

In these four months, that I have not been making regular blog posts, I completed my yoga training. I am now a 200hr RYT! I have also expanded my pre-existing love/addition to stick and poke tattoos. In my entire adult life, I had yet to feel as full and capable as I do right now, today. I get to pursue what I love, I get to freely practice what I love, I get to be wholly who I am. Every day. 

Yoga training completely changed my life, changed me. I will never be the same. There is a ‘Me Now’, and a ‘Me Before Yoga’. There is a Me Before, who had limited outlet for creativity. Limited knowledge for understanding my energic body. The Me Before who didn’t know how to be healthy, balanced, happy, TRUSTING.

I trust myself in a way I never knew I could, I know myself in a way I never did before. It has freed me, to live without hesitation, judgement, or attachment. I found myself in yoga, and I love her. I love who I realized I am, who I can be. I love more fully, I am more receptive to love. The world seems bigger, better.

In this great self discovery, I have begun to trust myself in ways/places/things I would normally say “I can’t” too. Bigger, more challenging tattoos, stronger asana inversions, teaching strangers yoga, entering tattoo contests; I’ve been saying yes to experiences that I would have let my anxiety take the lead on. Adventures I would have said no to before. 

I am enriched.

Say yes. Trust yourself. Be grateful for exactly who, and where you are right now. Be here right now. Be open to growth. Be open. Let go of limiting beliefs, about who you are, what you are capable of, what you can afford, what you’re comfortable with. Be your truest self.

Choose happy.

xxo, W.

red america.

Hate did not win. FEAR won. The American people voted from a place of deep rooted fear. Those American’s that voted Republican, are not just stupid. They did not fail themselves, or the world. They did what they believe they needed to. They had the freedom to vote, as they should. 

The universe gives us what we need. The collective consciousness is coming together more than ever. Trust that the universe is challenging us in all the ways we need to be challenged.

Growth is just on the other side of discomfort. 

A clever predator, who gained following from intentionally feeding into America’s fears, who twisted them, expanded them, boomed them loudly, won the Presidency.  A clever predator in a flawed electoral system, won the Presidency. 

Fear can be conquered. Fear reminds us that we have voices. Fear reminds us to stand up and live. To scream for what is right. Fear reminds us that we fucking want to live. A woman won the popular vote. A human who supports human equality. SHE WON THE POPULAR VOTE. Fear can be conquered.
Be fucking Love + Light. 

You are Love + Light. 

Live Lovely, live Light-heartedly, live Gratefully. Om Shanti Om.

xxo, W.

non-attchement.

What up blog world? I have been so fucking busy, and have veered so far off of my blogging path – fuck it. That’s ok. There is something cathartic about writing out your thoughts though, especially when people sometimes like what you write. And today inspiration struck, so that’s neat. 

I keep telling myself that I’ll blog this awesome recipe I tried, or this drink I want to attempt, or perhaps another essay on feminism/environment/politics. Something I enjoy, I’m invested in, something with substance. Then I’m all, “nah.” Just short yoga, island, and OOTD blurbs. You’re welcome Internet. 

So, I’ve been learning that there is this simple little key to happiness. Called non-attachment. Pair that with gratitude and you’re just gonna have the best fucking time ever. Now when I say non-attachment, I don’t mean that you must be detached in this cold, closed off sort of way. 

Emotionless living is not living, but over empathizing is crushing. Needing validation in some material way is crushing. Consuming yourself with having a thing, being a thing, needing a thing, to fulfill your life is CRUSHING. As is attachment to how another person think/feels/wants/needs/perceives you. Crushing. Why are we all crushing ourselves under the mountain of things we are conditioned to be attached to?

Practicing non-attachment and minimalism is fucking hard. I have a deep undying love for Free People. I’m very attached to the belief that clothing myself with that brand will make me happy. To be fair, it fucking does make me happy, but I would be just as happy (with an even happier bank account) if I practiced non-attachment towards the type of clothing I wear. It’s so easy in our society to get caught up in the expectation. Our cultures attachment to the having of certain objects, the looking a certain way, behaving a certain way, believing certain things. We attach to these concepts easily, and quickly. 

Attaching to the feelings of others will tear you apart. It is perfectly wonderful to empathize, care for, and uplift the humans around us. Don’t avoid the feelings of another. Don’t avoid the imperfect. Don’t hide from truths, and change, and darkness. That isn’t non-attachment, that’s fear. Fear is just like attachment. It breeds it. It breeds hate and hurt. 

Attachement, though, will pull you down into a low vibration. If someone is in a shitty place, having a shitty time, they’re going to feel gratified if others are feeling shitty too. Protect your happiness. Be there for those who you care to be, and don’t take their shit home with you. It’s not your shit. Don’t attach to it. Love them, and love yourself more. You can’t help anyone from the bottom of a dark hole, so don’t get into it with them. If you can’t help them out of that hole, then you can’t. The end. Don’t get attached to their resistance. It won’t help them if you’re upset that you can’t help them. What a silly circle to loop around in. 

Self-love is so important. So many of us are overly attached to the idea that treating ourselves well makes us guilty. That not killing ourselves to serve/help others is terrible of us. What the fuck is that all about? Who the fuck are you hurting by loving and caring for your own needs? You’re only going to be more capable of shining light on those around you, if you’re well loved first. 

Anyway, long rant short, I’ve become less attached to feeling less than. I don’t let skipping a week of blogging make me feel lazy. I don’t let the content of my blog make me feel inferior. I don’t let someone else’s complexes allow me to believe I am not good. I don’t beat myself up for not practicing yoga everyday. I don’t feel unsatisfied for not having an object. I always make time to treat myself. I am unattached to the concepts that influence a woman to feel like anything less than a FUCKING GODDESS. 

Are you attaching to shit you don’t need? Are you practicing self-love? Are you grateful? Are you protecting your happiness? Are you loving humans in a healthy way? 

I am loving and living in the world as healthily as I am able. I work on myself and my footprint on the world everyday. I am accepting things for what they are, when they are, and when they are not. I am letting go. I remember that everything is exactly as it should be, right now. If it all changes tomorrow, then it will still be exactly as it was always meant to be.

As you are. As I am. 

So Hum.

xxo, W.

islands in the sea.

Currently, I am sitting on the ferry, leaving my favourite place. Back to The Shu I go. I’m desperately sad, as fucking usual. I’ll be glad to be home but getting there is such a fucking chore. Plus, I always return home with three times the amount of shit I left with. 

I spent two amazing weeks, on Vancouver Island. I miss it even when I’m there. There is simply never enough time to spend at the sea. I saw everyone, did everything, drank it all, and ate my weight in fish tacos. 

I let my yoga practice slip, my meditation routine fall away, but some how I still feel connected to both things. The Island is my meditation. I knew it would be a good trip when we spotted Orcas on the ferry over. I’ve ridden this ferry route a thousand times, and had never seen whales – it was a good sign. 

So far in the very short time I’ve been travelling home, I’ve spilled coffee on two white shirts, and seen zero orcas. 

Like, fuck.

Home I travel anyhow, despite the rough start. Back to The Shuswap, to reclaim my tan and spend some hours on the lake with pals. So long lovely Island, as always, it’s been a heartwarming time.


Wish me luck hauling my suitcases into the house – I’ll need it!

xxo, W.