non-attchement.

What up blog world? I have been so fucking busy, and have veered so far off of my blogging path – fuck it. That’s ok. There is something cathartic about writing out your thoughts though, especially when people sometimes like what you write. And today inspiration struck, so that’s neat. 

I keep telling myself that I’ll blog this awesome recipe I tried, or this drink I want to attempt, or perhaps another essay on feminism/environment/politics. Something I enjoy, I’m invested in, something with substance. Then I’m all, “nah.” Just short yoga, island, and OOTD blurbs. You’re welcome Internet. 

So, I’ve been learning that there is this simple little key to happiness. Called non-attachment. Pair that with gratitude and you’re just gonna have the best fucking time ever. Now when I say non-attachment, I don’t mean that you must be detached in this cold, closed off sort of way. 

Emotionless living is not living, but over empathizing is crushing. Needing validation in some material way is crushing. Consuming yourself with having a thing, being a thing, needing a thing, to fulfill your life is CRUSHING. As is attachment to how another person think/feels/wants/needs/perceives you. Crushing. Why are we all crushing ourselves under the mountain of things we are conditioned to be attached to?

Practicing non-attachment and minimalism is fucking hard. I have a deep undying love for Free People. I’m very attached to the belief that clothing myself with that brand will make me happy. To be fair, it fucking does make me happy, but I would be just as happy (with an even happier bank account) if I practiced non-attachment towards the type of clothing I wear. It’s so easy in our society to get caught up in the expectation. Our cultures attachment to the having of certain objects, the looking a certain way, behaving a certain way, believing certain things. We attach to these concepts easily, and quickly. 

Attaching to the feelings of others will tear you apart. It is perfectly wonderful to empathize, care for, and uplift the humans around us. Don’t avoid the feelings of another. Don’t avoid the imperfect. Don’t hide from truths, and change, and darkness. That isn’t non-attachment, that’s fear. Fear is just like attachment. It breeds it. It breeds hate and hurt. 

Attachement, though, will pull you down into a low vibration. If someone is in a shitty place, having a shitty time, they’re going to feel gratified if others are feeling shitty too. Protect your happiness. Be there for those who you care to be, and don’t take their shit home with you. It’s not your shit. Don’t attach to it. Love them, and love yourself more. You can’t help anyone from the bottom of a dark hole, so don’t get into it with them. If you can’t help them out of that hole, then you can’t. The end. Don’t get attached to their resistance. It won’t help them if you’re upset that you can’t help them. What a silly circle to loop around in. 

Self-love is so important. So many of us are overly attached to the idea that treating ourselves well makes us guilty. That not killing ourselves to serve/help others is terrible of us. What the fuck is that all about? Who the fuck are you hurting by loving and caring for your own needs? You’re only going to be more capable of shining light on those around you, if you’re well loved first. 

Anyway, long rant short, I’ve become less attached to feeling less than. I don’t let skipping a week of blogging make me feel lazy. I don’t let the content of my blog make me feel inferior. I don’t let someone else’s complexes allow me to believe I am not good. I don’t beat myself up for not practicing yoga everyday. I don’t feel unsatisfied for not having an object. I always make time to treat myself. I am unattached to the concepts that influence a woman to feel like anything less than a FUCKING GODDESS. 

Are you attaching to shit you don’t need? Are you practicing self-love? Are you grateful? Are you protecting your happiness? Are you loving humans in a healthy way? 

I am loving and living in the world as healthily as I am able. I work on myself and my footprint on the world everyday. I am accepting things for what they are, when they are, and when they are not. I am letting go. I remember that everything is exactly as it should be, right now. If it all changes tomorrow, then it will still be exactly as it was always meant to be.

As you are. As I am. 

So Hum.

xxo, W.

islands in the sea.

Currently, I am sitting on the ferry, leaving my favourite place. Back to The Shu I go. I’m desperately sad, as fucking usual. I’ll be glad to be home but getting there is such a fucking chore. Plus, I always return home with three times the amount of shit I left with. 

I spent two amazing weeks, on Vancouver Island. I miss it even when I’m there. There is simply never enough time to spend at the sea. I saw everyone, did everything, drank it all, and ate my weight in fish tacos. 

I let my yoga practice slip, my meditation routine fall away, but some how I still feel connected to both things. The Island is my meditation. I knew it would be a good trip when we spotted Orcas on the ferry over. I’ve ridden this ferry route a thousand times, and had never seen whales – it was a good sign. 

So far in the very short time I’ve been travelling home, I’ve spilled coffee on two white shirts, and seen zero orcas. 

Like, fuck.

Home I travel anyhow, despite the rough start. Back to The Shuswap, to reclaim my tan and spend some hours on the lake with pals. So long lovely Island, as always, it’s been a heartwarming time.


Wish me luck hauling my suitcases into the house – I’ll need it!

xxo, W.

in another 10 years.

The reunion was so fucking wonderful, and strange, and fun, and drunk, and long, and kind of sad, and I’m so pleased it all happened, and so fucking grateful it’s all over.

Old connections and surprising new ones, were made. Dear friends I don’t get to see near often enough, got extra long squeezes. Awkward dancing ensued. People who I never expected, remembered my name. 

My pal and I met and started our reunion adventure at 2pm. I didn’t get home until 2am. 12 hours of vodka sodas, and smiling a until my face hurt, and hugging all the humans.

So many beloved people doing so well now, was incredible to see, although there are always those who’ve had bad news to share. Lost parents, children, pets, lovers. 10 years is so long and so fucking much happens. 

What a challenging, weird, and nostalgic night. I don’t know if I wanna do it again in 10 hours, after I’ve recovered, or not for another 10 years. Or never again. 

#ohsicks

xxo, W.

reunion.

My ten year grad reunion is rapidly approaching. Just about three weeks away. I’m attending it, for real. I’m on the planning committee actually, somehow. What?

I am excited, really excited – I just can’t wait to see how fucking weird everyone got. I didn’t spend much of my high school career with many of the people in my actual grad class – but the few I did spend it with are attending, and this brings me great joy. 

There has been much contact, and reminiscing already.bThese humans who I roamed with and I, seem to have no problem recalling the insane shit we did back then – but I can’t remember if I fed my dogs dinner yet.

Myself, and a few of my fellow grads, I are planning a pre-reunion-reunion. Just for those who we legitimately spent high school with. The kids younger than us, kids older than us, and the people we probably shouldn’t have known in high school. 

The whole day is undoubtedly going to be a blurred, frenzy of reconnections. So many old familiars, so many things to say, laughs to have, drinks to mailman. It’s going to be fucking wild, and it gives me butterflies.

We were such a huge, close knit group of freaks! Back then we all knew exactly who we were, but it was just for a moment. We all grew, and inevitably changed, found who we were individually.

Becoming your adult, full self, is an arduous process. We were bound to loose people, and parts of our lives, as we went. This is what reunions are for! To reconnect with pivotal people, to revisit the moments and peers who helped shape us – also to get really smashed, and weird.

Obviously.

I can’t wait to journey home, I can’t wait to see the souls who I was lucky enough to call my tribe, even just for a moment.

xxo, W

mindful.

There’s this thing I’ve been working on, mindfulness. You heard of it? Practicing focus, being present, taking my time, one thing at a time, consistent mindfulness.

It’s changing everything. I’m letting go, slowly albeit, of shit in my mind that screams at me to power through my to-do-list. I’m restructuring my belief patterns. I’m finding myself comfortable despite having things left to accomplish. I’m conquering fragments of my OCD. 

Where your focus goes, your energy follows. If you are focusing on too much, or placing focus on thoughts that come from a place of fear – that’s where your energetic vibration will settle as well. That’s the kind of energy you will attract into your life. “I don’t want to be affected by that. I don’t like that. I don’t want that. I want to avoid that.” DON’T, NO, AVOID, DISLIKE. These are negative, you’re placing your focus on what you don’t even want. You’re manifesting. Fear will crush your happiness. Do less, with more focus. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Mindfully chose positivity, one thing at a time, steer your energy into a higher vibration. “I am capable. I am stronger than. I will overcome. I am perfect just as I am. I trust myself and The Source. I am grateful, I am grateful, I am grateful.” 

Mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand. The more I slow down and pay attention to what I’m doing, the more grateful I am for what is in front of me. Like my food. I see my food, I’m enjoying my food, I’m eating when I’m hungry – and stopping when I’m full. Taking actual time to eat, mindfully. Things like conversations with my husband. I’ll put down my phone/book, pause Netflix, stop folding laundry, and look at him while we speak. I give as much of my full attention as possible to one thing at a time and it is rewarding. 

I’m practicing mindful breathing, movements, moments, cooking, eating, writing, yoga, even simply sitting quietly in the sunshine listening, letting go of distraction, walking without headphones in, gardening – everything is a form of meditation. I’m calming my consciousness, I’m discovering new perspectives and I am happy.

This is living with intention, and not from habit. This is being wholly in the moment, whenever + wherever that is. This is non-attachment. This is high vibration. This is trust. This is gratitude. This is great respect + love.

Be still, 

xxo, W.